and now i just feel hopeless

he's playing with me.
he always does. the second i distance myself from him he turns on the charm.
and of course i'm helpless against it.
once he has me again he carries on with his perfect, popular, athletic life and i'm left hurting.
please help.

i shouldn't be...

so why do i feel like i'm in love? if i even knew what it felt like, would it feel like this?
i can think of little else but him.
it's frustrating and irrational.
help.

maybe i think you're cute and funny.

i love when things start to come together.

i tend to favor one boy.
micah.
68% percent chance, a good combination because we have so much in common.

You put your arms around me and I'm whole.

so maybe he missed me too.

i'm not over you

the only thing about the glorious summer of 2011 is that he hasn't had one part of it.
save for one sweet conversation. about a concert i didn't go to. but still sweet.

my summer has had boys, no doubt. cute, funny, but temporary. and the ones that are more permanent are stereotypical and thoughtless. they're not different like him. and after a month of hanging out with them i'm starved.

it's like eating junk food. while it's good at the time, after awhile all you feel clogged and all you want is the crisp, juicy, and clean bite of an apple.

i don't want another shallow conversation, to which you have nothing to offer.

i want to talk to him about music, cartoons, dancing, and roller coasters.

i don't want anymore of you're crude and uncreative humor.

i want his wit and insight.

boy, please go away. he's not perfect, but he's more of a man than you.